A few things to know about me:

  • I’m a comic book reviewer for Ain’t It Cool News, I write under the handle Optimous Douche.
  • I wrote the back-up stories for Zenescope Comics’ JUNGLE BOOK VOL.2. (reviews below)
  • I just finished a short story for the indie anthology 5 DEALS 1 DEVIL. I want to write more of this series about God, Seraphim and early man’s inability to understand gant charts. If you publish creator-owned serials, drop me a line and let’s talk.
  • I want to write more…


I also wrote a backup story in Volume II of THE JUNGLE BOOK: LAST OF THE SPECIES from Zenescope.

Here are some reviews:

  • AIN’T IT COOL NEWS: “The dialogue reminds me of the original JUNGLE BOOK comics, lofty and philosophical. The combination of the two stories has garnered my attention much more than the original series. It is nice to see Patey get his wish for there to be more history with the animal tribe, a complaint he expressed in his review of the first five issues, and an alteration I feel does add to the story. Miller’s writing and Mercado’s drawings make an even better combo and I can’t wait to see what comes next from those two.”
  • MAJOR SPOILERS: “Plus, there’s a great mini-story serial at the end of this book detailing why Baloo the bear is the only one of his kind on Kipling Island, something I wondered about when watching the movie as a kid.”
  • PART TIME FANBOY: “Origin of the Species also contains a nice little backup story co-written by Robert T. Patey III that provides a bit of backstory to one of this and the original Jungle Book’s central characters: Baloo. I sort of saw it as “Baloo: Year One”. It’s a nice little addendum to the main story that adds some depth to one of Mowglii’s greatest friends.”
  • The freak alien horse head in the picture with me is Fergus
  • Fergus’ mommy is not in the picture because despite her copious amounts of grace and beauty she has not an ounce of narcism in her beautiful body. Unlike me.

If you want to talk to me, there is a thing called Reply found at the top of things called posts or blogs on this thing called a site. If you’re shy then here…


  1. BIG fan of your comic reviews and I am looking forward reading average Joe. Hope you post where we can get your comic book when it comes out. Thks!

  2. thx Anonymous, very kind. Fear not, I will be using my 15 years of B2B marketing experience to pimp the hell out of AVERAGE JOE. Hey, I have a book on the shelves this week actually – Zenescope’s THE JUNGLE BOOK has a short story by moi.

  3. Anonymous said:

    Fabulous, what is the name of the story….. Have to check it out.

  4. JUNGLE BOOK: LAST OF THE SPECIES. Here’s a review….

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