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BATGIRL 19 REVIEW – Girl…Duh Duh Duh…You’ll Be A Man…Soon

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Batgirl_19_COVERBATGIRL 19
Writer: Gail Simone
Artist: Daniel Sampere
Publisher: DC
Reviewer: Rob Patey (aka  Optimous Douche – Ain’t It Cool News)

I don’t say this often, but no Taiwanese lady-boys were needed to get this guy salivating over BATGIRL 19. I refer of course to lame stream media’s fervor of activity over the reveal that Babs’ roommate tucks before he/she slips on his/her panties/boxers.  And before anyone asks, this was not the intended WTF moment from the gatefold cover – you don’t slide it open to see Babs’ kicking in the teeth of the “To Wong Fu” cast. Before I praise this book, I just had to lament the mores in states sans coastlines are about as progressive as an episode of Leave it to Beaver, and that 99% of the world still simply does not get the comic medium.

Don’t let my rampant immaturity give you the wrong impression; Simone used her usual grace and eloquence to broach the issue of Babs’ double-life and her roommate’s as well. It was sweet and endearing moment between two friends. Babs opened the kimono half-way to tell her BFF what the Joker had done to her in the past, without giving away the whole store if you get my drift. Likewise, her friend shared the fact that her clitoris isn’t some engorged appendage mutated like in a bad Ed Wood movie. This was about one and a half pages of the book. So next time you meet someone from the associated press please spit in their face and punch them directly in their transgender please.

This was one of the few WTF gate-fold books that provided an honest to God whollup of WTF. Of course nothing is really WTF these days thanks to the spoiler likes of…well…people like me, but still the execution can still deliver a gut punch even the concept leaks months ahead of time. How do I know? Because Simone did it in spades for this book.

I’m a sucker for James Gordon Jr., I have been since Snyder was crafting this little “freak on no leash” way back in pre-52 DETECTIVE. He’s not just creepy, he’s a level of insanity that I would say puts him on Joker level creepy. This guy relishes in the pain of others, but does it without an ounce of joy. He’s a new level of calculated killer that would have never enticed a silver age audience, but resonates fine and dandy in this new dark world we all live in. Simone does a great job reintroducing James’ particular brand of nutty by having Babs reflect on a moment in childhood when they would watch horror movies together. James doesn’t look away from the screen out of fear, but out of shame for the killer’s slasher sloppiness….Brilliant! Since then James was nuthin but trouble for the Gordon clan, culminating into his now outright vendetta against the family Gordon.

The true WTF moment asks whether Barbara will unleash the ultimate solution to stop JJ’s reign of dy-no-mite terror. She doesn’t do the deed, but someone else does and it TRULY was a WTF moment. I’ll also say it wasn’t Commissioner Gordon either. Of course  the door is left somewhat open as to whether James is actually dead, but ta the very least this oedipal wound is sure to sting for a bit. Palpable danger is set in place for next issue as Gotham PD witnesses this righteous murder from afar and makes the assumption that Babs is the culprit.

Simone is meant for this book, and I hope any future scuttlebutt about her leaving or jumping ship remains simply in the land of conjecture instead of sour grapes.

DETECTIVE COMICS 19 REVIEW – Man-Bats, Lady-Bats and Bane Oh My!

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DETECTIVE COMICS 19 COVERDETECTIVE COMICS 19
Writer: John Layman & James Tynion IV
Artists:  Jason Fabok, Andy Clarke, Mikel Janin, Henrik Jonsson, Jason Masters
Publisher: DC
reviewer: Rob Patey (aka Optimous Douche – Ain’t It Cool News)

DETECTIVE continues to be the ugly step-child of the Bat-Family never receiving the same fanfare as its venerable Bat-Brethren and I’ll tell you it baffles me.

I know I’m part of the problem. I’ve only dipped into DETECTIVE when it’s considered a seminal issue like this 80 page spectacular or it stands as “required” reading for large Bat-crossovers. Required was in quotes because while I loved the issue with the “Death of the Family” die-cut cover, it was really a story about the Penguin with one panel of the Joker’s torso.

That seems to be DETECTIVE’S bag, a dark spotlight cast upon the villainy of Gotham. It’s refreshing, fun and fantastic to take a break from the melodrama that has become the bat-family and just imbibe some good old nefarious wrong-doing told from the perspective of the beasts that go bump in the night.

Five stories await you in this issue. I miss this kind of storytelling to the depths of my dark soul. For anyone who laments the move to trade pacing that seems to suffocate this industry, you too will enjoy the beginnings, middle and ends found inside. The best part is that Layman was able to make all 4 of his stories mesh together more seamlessly than Lindsey Lohan, vodka and a Bentley. All 4 stories view the same event from a slightly eschewed angle giving you a complete picture of a night when Gotham was terrorized rather than saved by Bats.

The 900 – I’ve never been a big Man-Bat fan, but Layman has changed all that with this book. For the first time he’s no longer a silly contrivance of fangs and wings, instead Layman humanized this character to the nth degree and made him an honest-to-God hero. I don’t know if this is Kirk Langstrom’s first appearance in the New 52, but it certainly could be as Layman handles the Man-bat serum exposition and ultimate outbreak masterfully in a very tiny page count.

Basically the 900 is a block in Gotham where the Langstrom’s serum to initially help the deaf outbreaks and infects the whole city. Batman does some sleuthing and there are some great moments where the Bat-Family tells him to eat guano when he reaches out for help. Across the board Layman integrates this to current happenings in other Bat-books for true fans, but never belabors things so much that you felt like you missed out if you haven’t read the other books. Here is where you find out why Talia had Man-Bats in BATMAN INC.

Birth of a Family takes off moments after Langstrom flies away into the night after identifying patient zero in the last adventure. We are then whisked backwards in time as his wife recounts their first meeting, how she fell in love with the man trying to give the deaf Bat-ears and the ultimate horrific side effects of Kirk’s good intentions. Not one content to let her betrothed suffer, this vignette closes with the possible birth of Woman-Bat.

War Council – This story of Bane training an army to invade Gotham was good, but didn’t make a lick of sense thematically with the rest of the book. If Bane has been a presence in DETECTIVE up until now then fine, I guess it works. If not, the inclusion of this story leaves me baffled other than to get people to read TALON.

DETECTIVE COMICS 19 interiorMr. Combustible – OK back to the good stuff. When I dipped in during “Death of the Family” I was treated to a wonderful double-cross of the Penguin by one of his underlings, and thus bore witness to the rise of Emperor Penguin. Little Penguin was used by the joker and then incarcerated, and there he hath remained until now. Starting with the night the 900 block broke out, we see cheesy 60’s throwback Mr. Combustible, a villain who looks eerily like Mr. Peanut except his head was cobbled together by Thomas Edison. With cane, top hat and light bulb head, Mr. Combustible takes full advantage of the Man-Bat terror across Gotham to do a little five-finger discount shopping. Even though this moved briskly it never felt rushed. After giving his tithing to Emperor Penguin, Mr. C then goes to help his true master waddle out of the coop. DETECTIVE 20 should bring forward a Penguin slap fight more brutal than being forced to watch a Happy Feet marathon.

Through a Blue Lens – I’m a big fan of stories that present heroes through the everyman’s eyes. Blue gives us the story of a GCPD cop who was transformed into a Man-Bat and then saved by Langstrom’s “Colossus” great sacrifice (not a typo, you’ll get it when you read it). This is basically a morality tale on the value of vigilantes, but I’ll take old debates when they are this well humanized. The brothers and sister in arms gather around to regale the night of Bats, Batman’s breaking of the cop’s wing…I mean arm now,  and to share a few snuck past the nurses beer and laughs. Layman does a great job not injecting his own morality into his writing, the side that seems right will be judged solely by you.

The art is this thing sings across the board, with each using the light and dark perfectly with the tonality of their given stories. There are also boatloads of fantastic pinups that get better as the book progresses. My favorite pinup being three-way between Damian, Bruce and Talia.

I’m done shunning DETECTIVE, epic stories be damned, ret-cons don’t matter, sometimes I just want a good story. DETECTIVE goes one better to deliver a GREAT story.

STORMWATCH 19 – WTF Indeed!

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Stormwatch 19 coverSTORMWATCH 19
Writer: Jim Starlin
Artist: Yvel Guichet
Publisher: DC
Reviewer: Rob Patey (Optimous douche – Ain’t It Cool news)

A few weeks ago I threw some pretty strong blows at STORMWATCH, but it wasn’t just me being salty, my words came from a true love of the stories and characters that had once made up THE AUTHORITY.

However, I wasn’t just filled with vitriol; I also offered what I felt were some pretty simple course corrections considering a reboot was already underway under the authority of Mr. Starlin. My advice wasn’t genius in design, merely a reminder of what made this team once work. Sadly, none of my advice was truly imbibed in this aptly titled “Reset” issue (not that I truly expected it to be), and I fear we traded one grab-bag of convoluted story telling for another.  Time may ultimately prove me wrong since this issue really is just a kick-off roll call, but I’m already afraid this roster is too large and the characters that take over the chairs too vanilla to be the baddest mother-fuckers to strap on spandex.

OK, try to stay with me. The Shadow Lords, a trio of metal suited…well Lords…decide to reset time at the Big Bang. Adam One, the old STORMWATCH leader, and DC’s Benjamin Button, is wiped from existence (no one tell DEMON KNIGHTS this please). Thank God he wasn’t a butterfly because stepping on him only changed the fate of STROMWATCH (no one tell DEMON KNIGHTS please – do you get that I’m a little miffed about this kontinuity kerfuffle).

What we get from this new beginning is a rebirth of the infamous Bleed, the space between space; a resurgence of the greatest vessel to ever traverse the Bleed, except this time it has no sentience; and the appearance of some new members with a minor fresh start for others.

Storm King is still the mouthpiece for the Shadow Lords as he has been for the past 18 issues, while the tactical charge of the team now falls to…uhmmm…some dude with a helmet on. Apparently it’s vital to the Shadow Lords mission that this man only known as Storm Control remains a mystery for now, so he’s helmet dude as far as I’m concerned.

Other returns include Angie Spica, The Engineer, who has been unhooked from HQ to now be a chaser. What’s she chasing, an African San man who’s a drug addict and will have some value to STORMWATCH. History tells us that drug addicts are usually Doctors when it comes to STORMWATCH, but I’m not counting on anything yet.

Apollo & Midnighter are back, and here’s a change I can totally get behind. We meet them as Apollo is charging up with a nap on the sun deck of the new ship. Midnighter wakes Apollo with a kiss on the forehead. That’s it. With this one brief moment you know they are a couple and this universal reset has done away with the Ross & Rachel will they/won’t they element that was failing before.

Now  for the new additions. Welcome The Weird, an alien that inhabited a corpse and can change density from translucent as a jellyfish to as dense as diamond. Next up, the energy blaster Hellstrike, from STORMWATCH of yore. I’m simply meh on this one as well as his STORMWATCH in training buddy The Force. There’s also an endomorphic  thing that lives in a puddle of goo that scans transmissions and acts as intelligence HQ. And last, but certainly not least, we meet Jenny Soul, a maudlin little sad sack who has telepathy and burgeoning telekinesis. No idea what to make of her yet, but replacing a telepath with someone who was the embodiment of the age they live in like Ms. Sparks and Ms. Quantum feels a little milquetoast by comparison.

The issue ends with this rag tag bunch getting their first assignment on a faraway planet. Someone or some group is using temporal and psychic forces that may or may not be a threat to earth. Who that individual or group is or is not is not clear, although we do meet a certain white skinned bastich who chomps cigars and rides a cosmic motorcycle.

STORMWATCH couldn’t have been in more of a mess than it was before. It just couldn’t. However, I’m not seeing this reset as a fix either. I’ve read a ton of Starlin books in my life and there’s just something missing here. It feels like there is an editorial stubbornness to keep shoe-horning in the Wildstorm STORMWATCH mythos and characters in this book, which only serves ego in my opinion. At this point everyone remembers and wants what THE AUTHORITY delivered. Also, no one is letting this book have time to grow organically. Roll call, roll call, we all fall down has been the cadence until now and this reset is starting off with the same pattern. I like the idea of the team going intergalactic, but that opens up a whole slew of new questions about the DC Universe like who’s really in charge of the galaxy, the Shadow Lords or The Guardians (or New Guardians)?

Would it be the worst thing in the world to have STORMWATCH be the police of the multiverse? Am I too simple in my thinking? You could make them an all knowing entity without them ever messing up any continuity in the New 52. Again, what am I missing with this book. The answers seem so simple there must be some invisible thread the public is not privy to.

Not a bad start, but if things don’t improve this gets one arc and one arc only to win my affection, not 18 issues like last time.

SUPERMAN 17 REVIEW – H’ELss YES!!!!!

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Superman_Vol_3-17_CoverSUPERMAN 17
Writer: Scott Lobdell
Artist: Kenneth Rockafort
Publisher: DC
Reviewer: Rob Patey (aka Optimous Douche – Ain’t It Cool News)

H’el wins, earth is decimated powering his time travel device back to Krypton, and starting next month we will all get #1 issues of the New New 52 including: Legion of Rao, Green L’elantern and Trognorman (the closest Kryptonian species to a bat). Happy?

We all know SUPERMAN will save the day and frankly I’m tired of this debate. As much as I enjoyed the “The Dark Age” of comics and love a good destruction, frankly, the shock value is gone. These “losses” on the moral scale have also been watered down by what I know will be an inevitable ret-con if a writer goes too far from a character’s base. Plus, there are still some times that I like to know the good guys will win in the end – it’s a comfort and solace. It’s not about will they win, it boils down to how. Fine, if you need to be surprised on the outcome of all stories, then I think it’s plainly clear by now in-continuity SUPERMAN, especially this new inception, just isn’t for you.

Now, for all the other Pollyanna’s still with me, H’EL ON EARTH has provided not only the best SUPERMAN story to date, but also the best SUPERGIRL, SUPERBOY and second best JUSTICE LEAGUE story as well.

I know in a universe three arc deeps this might not be the grandest compliment, but one has to start somewhere. And if we collective provide our approval, DC then gets a barometer on how to please us moving forward.

Time travel, a villain trying to achieve good through nefarious means, and an honest-to-God voice for SUPERMAN and his Supelings are all gifts bestowed upon us in the SUPERMAN titles’ first cross-over. I know cross-overs are more dreaded than a Kriss Kross reunion tour, but when well-executed they can carry the scope and magnitude originally intended. The whole DC crew played this one right. H’EL ON EARTH didn’t force me to buy all the books because of story skimping per issue, but it made me want to read them all.  It rewarded me with cohesion from my primary title (Superman), through expertly shifting the POV of similar events.

I’ always leery of things, except this series. SUPERMAN proper was in such a sad state of affairs the only place to go was up. Despite the “controversy” with RED HOOD & THE OUTLAWS, I’ve loved the book since day one, so I had zero reservations about LobRocsters ability to if not save SUPERMAN at least redeem the title.

Moment after moment LobRocster succeeded. Clark Kent actually now has a personality. SUPERMAN with H’El as a nemesis finally gained a focus from the mutant of the week phenomenon. And we finally got the hell out of the politics of the newsroom. A little of that is fine, but issue after issue had grown quite tedious and wearisome.

At first I did feel the series was a little too narrative heavy, until I realized different does not mean bad – just different. It’s not for everyone, but as the series went on I found myself more entrenched in the thought bubbles as the external danger continued to build. Patience is a virtue more comic collectors need to remember. Rocafort does no wrong in my opinion: original panel layouts, unique takes on character visages and the ability to keep heavy narration moving all keep me looking for chinks in the armor to no avail.

So, SUPERMAN does save the day ultimately, with help from SUPERGIRL, BOY and the JUSTICE LEAGUE. And in the process, everyone (except maybe the JUSTICE LEAGUE) learned something to carry forward into further arcs.  SUPERMAN learned there are still mysteries of his origin to uncover (some of the flashbacks to Jor and Lar were among my favorite moments). We got insight into the fact SUPERMAN has the deadliest weapons cache in the galaxy sitting inside the fortress of solitude. We learned the JUSTICE  LEAGUE can actually behave like a big kid superhero team sans bickering. We saw SUPERBOY uncover his own merit and potential outside of his cobbled genome. And we finallys aw an emotional tether grow  between SUPERMAN and his “big” cousin once she uncovers H’El’s lie about the true after effects of his little experiment. The fact that she delivers the final Judas kiss was appropriate, fantastic and actually set a nice little tear in the space-time continuum for future H’El fodder.

Honestly, the only that confused me was the introduction of this ORACLE character – I mean where are the wheels and the glasses? Oh different Oracle you say, you mean the guy that looks like Nimrod from the X-men and has the same soul charter as THE WATCHER? OK, that explains it then. Seriously, what was the point? Someone please enlighten me.

Great story, arc, art and editorial execution. This wasn’t just what a crossover should be, it’s the embodiment of true serialized entertainment.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA 1 REVIEW- Finally a League with PURPOSE!

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Justice league of america 1 coverJUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA 1
Writer: Geoff Johns
Artist: David Finch
Publisher: DC
Reviewer: Rob Patey (aka Optimous Douche – Ain’t It Cool)

Purpose: I’ve asked one thing from the JUSTICE LEAGUE since waaaaayyyyy back in the post FINAL CRISIS days, have a purpose for bringing together a LEAGUE. Back then the blunders were egregious, with the Holy Trinity picking heroes like baseball cards (and this is not hyperbole) to bring together a LEAGUE, because you know…there’s always been a JUSTICE LEAGUE.

Then came the New 52 and with it the promise of salvation. Not only were we getting a JUSTICE LEAGUE, but also a return of the Bwahahaha JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL, a new JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK to handle magic threats, and finally oversight for all heroes in the form of STORMWATCH.

I’ve made my thoughts well known on these titles, but here’s a synopsis. Johns should not create with Lee. Before anyone throws goddamn sales numbers at me I will remind you that the 4th Batman movie was a box office success. People are sheep and marketing easily leads the masses, I know firsthand, I’m in marketing and my soul is one step above lawyers on Satan’s most wanted. When we peeked past the marketing though, the first two arcs of JUSTICE LEAGUE were wafer thin. I have my theories on why, and it basically equates to the fact that Johns is indie film and Lee is big budget and never the tween shall meet. Johns is not your splash page writer and Lee is not a cramped panel artist. Disagree if you like, but I haven’t heard a better theory yet. JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL was less bwahahaha and more just plain awwww, hence why it’s no longer with us. STORMWATCH, don’t even get me started. It has been a mess since day one choking on its own hubris. These folks were supposed to be the ones who watch the WATCHMEN, but since they can’t get shit straight in their own house all we’ve gotten are a bunch of slap fights between Apollo & Midnighter and some kind of shadow council…or shadow puppetry…I’m not sure. I like JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK, but part of that adoration lies in the detractors’ claims it doesn’t feel like it’s part of the universe. Fair enough, but at least it’s original.

JUSTICE LEAGUE redeemed itself with Throne of Atlantis, and I believe whole heartedly that JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA will rectify the missteps of the team books that have come before.

Not only does JUSTICE LEAGUE AMERICA have a purpose, but that purpose is steeped in actual continuity. Its purpose is also right in line with the marketing hype and a stark reflection of the current 99%ers feelings towards the 1% who pull our collective marionette strings. You want to know, “Who watches the WATCHMEN” or in this case the JUSTICE LEAGUE? Then you need look no further than JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA.

JLA _1_5While this is a straight-up introductory tale, Johns does a great job of keeping the book moving without it being a straight up Mickey Mouse roll call. He also builds off the history of the New 52, without making it required reading.  Basically, there’s a pervasive fear in the government and leading the rabblerousing is our own favorite Queen of conspiracy theories, Amanda Waller. Uncle Sam fears the JUSTICE LEAGUES allegiance to the planet at large, and the US of A wants a way to ensure countermeasures should the JUSTICE LEAGUE side with someone other than the Stars & Stripes.

Now since Waller has her hands full with other skullduggery in the DCU, she turns to the Old League liaison Steve Trevor to corral and manage this new group. This leads us to a part of the book that confused me, but still left me enthralled. We’ve always known Waller will manipulate people to get her way, but she takes it to new heights in this book and I can’t tell if her concerns were genuine or simply pushing Steve’s buttons.

The kiss between Superman and Wonder Woman that made a thousand Lois Lane fans spontaneously combust apparently wasn’t only viewed by readers. American satellites caught this precious moment as well and got the think tanks pontificating on the damage these two could cause. We’re not just talking the shockwaves from bumping uglies, but also what could happen if these two could and would actually procreate. Again, Waller is a manipulative little gal, so did she mention this to get Steve to sign-on or was it a genuine concern? Maybe a little of both, but it does push Steve over the edge to go recruit his addition to the team CATWOMAN.

JLA PAGES 6-7Just in case the purpose was unclear, after we see vignettes of each character as Waller and Steve discuss their place on the team, the issue ends with a direct match on who in the JLA will take down who on the JUSTICE LEAGUE. Some are clear jumps – Baz against Hal, Martian Manhunter against Superman and Catwoman against Batman. The match-up of Vibe against Flash makes sense, but it makes even more sense if you read VIBE 1 this week. But there are a couple I match-ups I question like Hawkman against Aquaman and Katana against Wonder Woman. In one case they could escape each other by going to their natural habitats and in the other case I think simple sword wielding does not make equal class balancing in a fight.

Finch and Johns go together perfectly and even in the heavy talky scenes between Waller and Trevor, the panels were visually engaging.

So, what about GREEN ARROW who is so prominently displayed on the cover, well that dear reader is a mystery that comes with the price of admission. His fate lies squarely in plot that wild rive this first arc forward.

I’d like to walk away with a suggestion for DC. Your team books are finally starting to come together, but your work is far from done. With the creation of JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA, I know have even less of a reason to read STORMWATCH, which is shame because they are characters I once loved Pre-52. At some point you need to either shit-can STORMWATCH as a the failed experiment it was or actually commit to its place in the DC Universe. Most fans will deride what I’m about to say, but I think the only salvation lies in a cross-over amongst the LEAGUE books and STORMWATCH. “We’re the JUSTICE LEAGUE we’re in charge! Fuck you, were the JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA and we’re in charge bitches!! Fuck all y’all, we’re STORMWATCH and we’ve been in charge since Jesus was in diapers!!!” I know crossovers are a verboten phrase, but when well-planned and crafted they can once again be as epic as they were initially intended to be.

L’il Gotham – The Cute Crusader Strikes Bwack – Dustin Nguyen Talks Shop

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Lil Gotham Valentines DayTired of face lift…offs and the morbidity of comics, want to just have a little bit o’ fun with some of your favorite Gothamites? Look no further than L’il GOTHAM. Before you think this digital exclusive is just the Muppet Babying of the bat family, listen to what L’il GOTHAM artist extraordinaire, Dustin Nguyen, has to say about Holiday time inside his imagination.

Rob Patey – Optimous Douche (OD): I’ll admit, as a fully grown man the L’il GOTHAM line scared me from both peer perception and enjoyment. So I need to ask, how two other grown men would think to slather Gotham with Muppet Baby style cuteness?

Dustin Nguyen (DN): At first, it was done for fun- to take a break from the seriousness of drawing the day to day books I was working on. Then it just got addicting to see what every character might look like and act if they weren’t always so serious.

Dustin_NguyenOD: Where did the Holiday theme for each issue come from? Was it part of the initial pitch or a DC add? And what antics can we expect for Passover this year?

DN: The Holiday theme in the initial pitch we titled “ Little Gotham’s: Calender of Small Events.” It came from the idea that if we can get DC to sign off on a year-long Holiday based series… we’d get at least a year’s worth of work. Passover’s going to all bundled up with this year’s end of season special, I believe that one’s going to be a two-parter.

OD: Will future chapters be holiday themed as well, or can we expect a break from Holiday time? 

DN: Yeah definitely, since we get to do 2 chapters instead of 1 a month now, we are expanding to a few 2-parters for some stories, and as you mentioned- break away from the holiday theme and might even leave Gotham City for a bit.

OD: Both you and your writing counterpart  Derek Fridolfs work in the other stratums of the DC brand spectrum of ages. What’s it like shifting gears from one to the other, and do you ever find ideas from one feeding the others?

DN: I definitely feel the two have to co-exist, although to be honest, I am a little behind on the current timeline. Derek and I still sort of live in the BTAS world sometimes.

OD: The New 52 continuity in Gotham is pretty dark, are you guys making any of those themes a little more palatable like the Joker’s face hanging off his skull? Or do you just avoid main continuity all together? 

DN: Even though we’re part of the main DC universe, we aren’t part of the main continuity, which allows us a slight bit more freedom with our stories and costume choices.

OD: So have you guys hit every player in Gotham yet? Anyone waiting in the wings or someone you’re dying to “youth”enize?

DN: We’re pretty much open to anyone really, i prefer some of the more obscure, lesser used characters, but we always want to include some that’s more known as to not completely alienate the main audience. ah- but they all stay their own age even through my stylized versions!

Lil Gotham Valentine Special

OD: Friendship is a big part of L’IL GOTHAM as are larger panels with far easier flow. I have to assume this is because a child’s head and thus brain is so small and also have a false sense that mankind is good? Do you find any extra freedoms in these wide open panel spaces and moralistic black and white surety?

DN: That’s absolutely what it is, so we’re letting the kids enjoy it while it lasts, but around that, there’s still plenty or room to play with. Now that we’ve gotten the green-light to do more chapters, we can focus on stories that are more involved and would take a bit longer to tell.

bat cow funnyOD: What about Bat-Cow? I loooovvveee Bat-Cow!
DN: So does our editor Sarah! i believe you’ll see a guest appearance by the cow sooner than later.

OD: Can you please give us the lowdown on the impending Valentine’s issue if you would be so kind? 

DN: It’s going to be full of <3

OD: Oh come on now, you can do better than that. Who are the primary players? Perhaps a little Poison Ivy love potion?

DN: Gah! you NAILED it. Joker and the LAYDEEES in this one.

L’il GOTHAM’s Valentine special  is ready for download now. Get up on it, especially for the wee comic fans in your life.

BATMAN 17 REVIEW: Death of The Family…We Were All Wrong

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BATMAN 17 COVERBATMAN 17

Writer: Scott Snyder
Artist: Greg Capullo
Publisher: DC
Reviewer: Rob Patey (aka Optimous Douche -Ain’t It Cool News)

The frenzied pace that has been Death of the Family doesn’t stop for the opening pages of its final chapter. The eyes are wide open, the narcotics and concussions have worn off, and at last the platters are ready to be revealed. What follows will be one of most divisive moments in comics this year.

The “reveal” that we’ve all been waiting for, the thing that was theorized so much it approached Godwin’s law seconds after the series was announced (and no the Joker is not Hitler, just in case those folks thought they were right), is a delight of massive morbidity. It’s an atrocity exactly on par…I mean exactly….with the fate that befell the Joker at the start for the New 52.

Face…it’s what’s for dinner. Dick, Damian, Jason, Tim and Babs are all served a hearty helping of their own puddum puddin. It was a moment of horror, insight into the true face of evil, and a poignant, if batshit crazy poem to Batman’s one Achilles’ heel as Joker uses this to moment to show just how soft the family literally is beneath their respective masks.

And then we find it’s all just a fugazi, a falsehood meant to satisfy the sensationalists of the world who needed this to culminate in physical, not emotional entropy. The truth is The Reveal has been in front of our faces all along. I would say, “No pun intended,” but I’m honestly not sure there isn’t some kind of meta level joke in all this being played on us as well.

The true purpose of The Joker’s plans in Death of the Family was revealed two months ago when the clan found out the Joker had been in the cave and Bruce never told them. Death in the Family was all about deconstructing trust. It’s ultimate purpose was to separate all of the Bat titles so each character can find a light to grow outside of Bruce’s shadow. And more importantly add much needed continuity distance from the carryover Flash brought back with him from the Flashpoint universe.

So, no one’s dead, the atrocity is that of the sprit:  Babs’ limbs all function, Jason didn’t take another crowbar to the face, and Damian still faces more danger from his mother in BATMAN INC. than he does inside the Bat-Cave. I know there will be fans who will cry foul in the fact the worst thing to happen to any character is a waft of ultra potent Joker toxin. But, when I’m asked the inevitable question of whether I liked Death of the Family the answer will be, “Yes, but only if…

Only if Bruce truly has to fight his way back into the family’s hearts and souls (including Damian). Only if once Snyder sets his sights on Metropolis we see other writers truly embrace the foundation Snyder laid before them. Only if DC commits to taking a break from Bat cross-overs for a while to let each character develop independently. This last point is most important. Snyder did what he does best, he built mythos through history. Now its time to honor this path and tread it truly, press forward with more tales of detective work in the now and let history come organically moving forward.

Death of the Family is a tragic story of love unrequited. This is the Joker’s tragedy. Even though he knew who Bruce was all along, it was never about exposing Batman, it was about keeping him hidden so the game could on and on and on….

DEATH OF SUPERMAN…AND COMICS…AND AMERICA…OURSELVES

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Death_of_Superman_TPDEATH OF SUPERMAN (REMASTERED)

Writers: Dan Jurgens, Jerry Ordway, Louise Simonson, Roger Stern
Artists: Jon Bogdanove, Tom Grummet, Jackson Guice, Dan Jurgens
Publisher: DC
reviewer: Rob Patey (aka Optimous Douche – Ain’t It Cool News)

20 years. Wow.

Were Don McLean writing his homage to our collective demise, American Pie, in the 90s instead of the 70s, I have no doubt this cryptic poem of innocence lost would have reserved a verse for this now remastered DEATH OF SUPERMAN tome:

There is no rhyme or reason why
We fell our savior from the sky
Leaving little room for further grace.

Broken hearts and burning steel,
The culprit didn’t need revealed
Doomsday wore your  very face

 

DEATH OF SUPERMAN not only ushered in the death of comics, or at the very least, crippling of the genre, it also reflected we will never again abide sacred calves. Blame Booth, blame Nixon, blame the loss of religion, blame your neighbor; we begged for the DEATH OF SUPERMAN because the virtues he stood for were no longer a reflection of ourselves. And what are comics, at least good comics, if not the hyperbole of our imagination grounded in reflective moments of the current human condition.  

Now, the maggots that crawled from SUPERMAN’S carcass were splash pages without purpose, anatomical monstrosities, die-cut S shield covers, and polybags that now feel like my Grandmother’s skin after 20 years of storage. Again though, these trappings weren’t the often attributed 90’s death of comics, simply the last Hail Mary to keep a few extra zeroes on print runs.

Death-of-Superman_1DEATH OF SUPERMAN was the true event that put all comics on a respirator and feeding tube. Where else could you go from here? This mammoth storyline that crossed the multitude of SUPERMAN and JUSTICE LEAGUE titles was like a modern retelling of the bible. You had the ultimate fight for good and evil as the cacophony of colorfully clad disciples watched unable to deter destiny. It was a prophetic march that we all knew couldn’t last and in that knowledge we learned continuity was a mantra for a forgotten era. We also learned there is no such thing as consequence when billions of dollars in toys, movies and video game revenue rests on a hero’s shoulders. Death, true death, has no room for awakenings. Comic s has no tolerance for true death, at least in 1992 they didn’t.

It’s hard not to read this book and reflect on the aftermath. But there was no doubt it captured our hearts, minds and the news cycle at the time. The last point was a true rarity in the pre-Internet days when news was actually still a somewhat precious commodity and not vomited out on blogs and web pages en masse.

1992 was my senior year of High School. I was  accepted into my 3 colleges of choice by October, so all I had left to do for the year was make lots of money at Merrill Lynch after school, buy weed with that money, get girls with that weed…and revel in comics. Back in those days we had to revel face-to-face, the comic store was a destination not a retail transaction. For hours, fanboys like myself would debate the virtues of comics with our predecessor fanmen. DEATH OF SUPERMAN kept us talking from Doomsdays’ first appearance out of the ground until the final panel of Kal in Lois’ arms. We were all mesmerized. Again, we knew even then it wouldn’t last, but the excitement of the event back when events weren’t a commodity made it a glorious time to be a collector. I didn’t realize how much the Internet has exponentially increased the quantity of comic conversations, but also exponentially decreased the quality of those interactions. It took me this reread to truly realize what made this series special.

superman emblemPacing! Plain and simple pacing. Doomsday wasn’t a stark reveal, like Monarch in ARMAGEDDON 2001. We also had no clue what was coming next. As Doomsdays visage became clearer, his swath of destruction across America became more brutal and bombastic. Starting with one armed tied behind his back, Doomsday became more than the bloke who killed SUPERMAN, he became the embodiment of fear for well over a year. In one page these artists and writers of yore told us everything we needed to know about this villain, as he first crushes a bird, then a tree, then a house and a family. Even for all of Darkseid’s evil ways, he would never sell out so-called “life” on Apokolips. Doomsday though, as the name implies, was hell bent on the death of everything. And he succeeded in spades.

I’m not a fan of nostalgia or lamenting remember when, I believe human evolution is a building experience that leverages the old and transforms it for the modern age. We’ve lost something since this time period though, and that something is called story. Writers words once flourished when the pacing didn’t have to meet the “Image” model of 3 panel pages and every other page splashes. Jurgens, Stern,  Simonson…these folks delivered character moments that had impact despite their cramped panels. I was an even bigger fan of JLA during this time then Supes himself. Seeing Ice protect a family against Doomsday in a 9 panel page delivered more emotional impact than the entire first arc of the New 52 JUSTICE LEAGUE.

This might all sound like a now Fangeezers lament, but it’s truly not. I still love comics; I love the hyper detail that the new teams of artists deliver. But I will fight tooth and nail any fool who doesn’t say this story is impactful. Not only for the words on the page, but for the way it forever changed comics…and if I can be so bold the perception of the American dream.

Read DEATH OF SUPERMAN again to remember a time when stories truly surprised us before Internet spoilers ruined our sense of wonderment when we first opened a book. Read it for the first time to understand a forgotten craftsmanship in comics. Read it for the new coloring if you choose, I didn’t see a stark difference from my muddled memories. But read it, it’s important.

INJUSTICE: GODS AMONG US 1 REVIEW – Elseworld, We Missed You

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injustice-gods-among-us-1-coverINJUSTICE: GODS AMONG US 1

Writer: Tom Taylor
Artists: Raapack, Miller, Gimenez
Publisher: DC
Reviewer: Rob Patey (Optimous Douche – Ain’t It Cool News)

I received an early preview of this book, but I’ll admit now I avoided it like the plague. As soon as I read the slugline “From the creators of Mortal Kombat” I kept on keeping on to BATMAN & ROBIN ANNUAL 1.

Comics based on TV, movies, video games and any medium OTHER than comics are 99% atrocious. The 1% of good stuff is very few and far between as math dictates. The last time I actually enjoyed one was DC LEGENDS ONLINE and I’ve read a ton since. I stayed with that comic for months after I let my subscription from the game cancel out (I also got an iMAC, but I really was done with the game before that having level capped in less than 30 days). I gave that comic a chance because generally RPG games have a better chance of transcending to an engaging story and comic than fighting games.

Well, shut my mouth and call me Sally, because my prejudices almost made me miss one of the best damn DC comics to not only come out this week, but since the start of 2013. I always loved ELSEWORLDS and that’s exactly how INJUSTICE reads. Like ARMAGEDDON 2001, INJUSTICE postulates what happens to the world if SUPERMAN becomes damaged goods.

The book starts with BATMAN overlooking a crime free Gotham, an event we all would expect to make BATMAN grin wider than the Joker. His internal monologue on this page was just the start of some exceptional writing on Taylor’s part; he gets these characters to the core and puts more heart than I’ve ever seen into a comic port over. We realize BATMAN’s lament when the page closes with SS like troops marching the streets brandishing the crest of El.

Flashback to five years prior, where we see an insomniac Clark looking at a sleeping Mrs. Kent. Remember back when those two were married and Lois didn’t treat Clark like gum on the bottom of her shoe?  I do, and it was nice to venture back. Again, in a moment of great internal dialog Clark hears a second heartbeat coming from Lois. The scene that follows was simply endearing until Lois gets a call to report on a bribe hand off as it happens. It’s hard for me to quantify what I liked about the two, other than it felt real despite their drastically unreal existences.

What was thought to be a story ends up being a set-up perpetrated by the Joker, but we don’t learn this until another great characterization moment takes place between Supes and Bats. Bats immediately knows Lois is pregnant based on actual detective work looking at Superman’s demeanor, but is then bat-surprised when asked to be the Godfather. I laughed out loud at his less than emotional response.

This book is rife with so many consequences you will wish it is main continuity. I love Jimmy Olsen, which is why there was so much weight and impact when he gets a bullet through his lens straight through to his eye. Artists and writer should be proud for the impact of this scene.

Once Superman and Batman realize the Joker is behind things, you see a JUSTICE LEAGUE scramble to find out where The Joker took Lois, and how the Scarecrow who also ends up shuffling off his mortal coil fits into the scheme. It’s good, really good. So is the JUSTICE LEAGUE. Flash, Wonder Woman, Batman and Superman all use their powers to the fullest appropriateness. In just a few panels, again you realize Taylor gets the characters. DC, let’s give this guy a real book soon please, he deserves it.

I’m not going to spoil the final catalyst that pushes Superman to his dark totalitarian future. Suffice to say it’s clever, very comicy, and far more impactful than the accident that made him all Hitlery back in ARMAGEDDON 2001 when Lois died.

The art team also deserves a shout out. I’m sure part of this has to do with the game design, but these costumes are fucking awesome. Think everything that was great about the pre-52 costumes and the cool stuff from the New 52 and there you have it. Also, even though there are three artist, hand-off was seamless. I didn’t even really notice until I sat down to write the attribution for this review.

I won’t play the game because I hate fighters to the core of my being, but  I will read every last mother loving page of this series.

BATMAN & ROBIN ANNUAL 1 REVIEW – Rise of The Cute Crusader

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batman and robin annual 1 coverBATMAN & ROBIN ANNUAL 1

Writer: Peter Tomasi
Artist: Ardian Syaf
Publisher: DC
Reviewer: Rob Patey (aka Optimous Douche – Ain’t It Cool News)

Here’s a novel idea, “Let’s make comics fun again.” Don’t get me wrong, I love the facial puppetry and emotional turmoil embedded in Death of the Family. My Gen X cynical sensibilities are also all about the deconstruction of the superhero mythos. I like my comics dark, but even I sometimes require a brief respite from doom and gloom to renew my faith that the world is not just an exercise towards entropy and that life is something to revel in, not just get through.

BATMAN & ROBIN ANNUAL 1 has no dissent amongst the bat-clan, there are no heady moments of distrust towards Bruce, nor silver platters dripping with blood. Whether this is canon or not, (and I do have questions in light of Death of the Family), I don’t really care. Because when a comic takes my favorite Robin and infuses it with a little John Hughes Home Alone action, the result is soul-lifting comic gold.

Damian Wayne won me over day one. His petulance, emotional baggage and haughty attitude made him a damaged youth you couldn’t help but love. When he came on the scene, Daddy was finding his way back home from his seeming one way ticket to nowhere at the end of FINAL CRISIS. Damian became Dick’s problem, and for a year or so Damian tested Dick’s patience and decisions at every turn. Any character becomes dull without growth, Snyder did a bang up job in DETECTIVE by making the wall of aggression between the two Robin’s slowly erode and form some semblance of respect and dare I say love. The dynamic between the two was so delicious; I’m on record in quite a few reviews requesting DC never bring Bruce back. Dick and Alfred couldn’t rear the young lad all the way though, Damian’s arrogance would only truly allow for Bruce to guide and instruct him. Especially since Bruce wasn’t a living being, merely a specter of myth and legend as told by Talia and…well…the world.

When Bruce did come back, I was worried that he would put the young lad’s head through plate glass after one well misplaced “tt” of annoyance.  Especially since the moments before the DC Reboot, Morrison had portrayed Batman at his darkest. It looked as though Father would shun his responsibilities in favor of a life in the literal and emotional shadows.  Damian would have no hope of ever going beyond his surly and homicidal ways.

The New 52 changed everything though, and one of the greatest changes was a Bruce Wayne ready to be Batman and a Father. Wisely, writers didn’t have Damian just jump in Bruce’s lap and snuggle. Their maturation process together has been long and slow as each learns their role in a new family dynamic. Bruce has worked diligently to wipe away the killing machine to make Damian a true purveyor of justice and an actual 10 year old boy — very akin to the life of Dick Grayson in the silver age; Robin by night, normal kid by day.

BATMAN & ROBIN ANNUAL 1 is the perfect culmination of this Father/Son evolution. Of course a kid that runs around fighting crime will never be “normal.” But between Bruce’s love and patience, additions of four legged bat-friends Titus the dog and Bat-Cow (oh sweet sweet Bat-Cow), and a fair amount of work on Alfred’s part, Damian has now become what I will Grandfatherly call a feisty little scamp. His ability to go from fierce to adorable in one mere panel makes him simply one of the most unique and endearing characters in comics. Especially to Fangeezers like me who stand on the precipice of procreation.

So anyway Home Alone. In a clever turn of selfish altruism, Damian concocts a scheme to get Alfred and Bruce out of the country – and it actually works. Once Bruce and Alfred are following clues across Europe with Damon green screening himself one step ahead of them updates, we finally  get to meet Bat-Boy, Bat-Brat…oh hell with it…Bat-Mite!

The new Cute Crusader starts to hits the street of Gotham in pursuit of a gas eating monster and his ultimate master. Honestly this isn’t what stuck with me. What I remember are the moments of Titus as acting Alfred confidant. Damian’s pint-sized frame harnessing the horsepower of the Bat-Mobile. The  sheer joy in seeing a young man unfettered from the constant lessons that come with any Father and Son…engaging in anything.

Bruce’s story also pulls at the heartstrings when we discover Damian’s mystery is a step-by-step journey chronicling the courtship of his Grandparents. Alfred’s no slouch here either as he abandons the chase in pursuit of a little thespian time with some ole’ mates  at The New Globe.

Morrison may have spawned this relationship, but Tomasi is the right writer for now. Morrison is a master for hooking fans with his trippy ideas, but eventually his weirdness overshadows his characters. Tomasi knows humanity, not trip above it. This isn’t a judgment on either man, just a fact.  Also, Syaf does an amazing job with this book, particularly Titus and European locales. Both were equally majestic. This story deserved nothing less.