All of The S$#@ is Gone From Christmas (Sung to the juxtaposed tune of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot LIKE Christmas”

All of the shit is gone from Christmas
The tree is by the curb
Amazon Box filled with wrapping
Hungover egg nog napping
And we finally get rid of Uncle Herb

All of the shit is gone from Christmas
Except the sizes wrong
They’ll go back to the outlet store
With gift receipts galore
Keeping spouses out for hours long

Pine needles in rugs and copious drugs
Mark days one and two
Regifting the crap that you just can’t bring back
Keeps you in the Chriastmas mood
And let’s not forget
All the leftover food

All of the shit is gone from Christmas
But I guess it’s really not
The gifts all still remain
Along with psychological family pain
Until next year’s onslaught.