Sales – Nobody’s Childhood Dream

Bob Patey So where do you start with a blog about sales that hasn’t already been covered in today’s vast digital deluge of Internet word salad?  I thought it best to serve up a fresh perspective from someone who wasn’t always successful at selling. Me, Bob Patey.

Also, what will make this story unique is my utter inability to bullshit, or to only bullshit when I am absolutely certain no one can check my facts (a task that has become inordinately harder since the rise of Google). This bullshit with a high quality barometer is a rarity in sales believe it or not. Most bullshit artists just swing for the fences, and sadly there are a lot of fence swingers in sales.

Through the course of my tale we’ll travel the last half century of selling to the IT market through this half-bullshit lens. This journey will be replete with the highs and  frequent lows of the world’s second oldest profession (which arguably had a lot to do with the success of the world’s oldest profession) and hopefully lessons for all you young bucks about to lead the herd. 

My story is about how you can be successful in sales in spite of yourself. It’s not difficult really, if you listen to the life’s blaring warning sirens, and sprinkle in an element of luck. It never hurts to be in the right place at the right time no matter how smart or skilled you are. 

Lesson one (or three since I dropped a few above): You have to be skilled at a wide variety of professions to be good at selling. Also, no one is better than a Salesperson since every profession has an element of sales in it. Most professionals won’t admit that what separates them from the herd of people that do the same thing they do, and possibly just as well as they do, is usually that they can sell it better than anyone else upfront. Call it bedside manner, empathy to the plight for the poor bastard that got caught with their hand in the till, relating to people, listening, schmoozing with management, campaigning, call it what you will; but the better you are at selling the more successful you’ll be.

These insights are not just for sales people, these experiences are for all people. Like it or not everybody sells so why not admit it and get good at it. Listen to my story about how I found my profession (quite by accident), and luckily made a lifelong career until retirement.

Please feel free to help me in structuring this blog. If you have questions, want to call me names, or simply share your tale, do so in the comments area below. I want this to be as much a conversation as it is a pulpit.

Spoiler Alert Comic Books Podcast 12/6/16 – JUNGLE BOOK HOLIDAY SPECIAL, GHOST RIDER, M.A.S.K., NO ANGEL, TALES FROM THE CRYPT, INHUMANS VS. X-MEN, SAVAGE

Comic Book Podcast

Welcome to the Spoiler Alert Comic Book Podcast. I’m Rob Patey, often known as Optimous Douche from AIN’T IT COOL NEWS. My counterpart is Mark L. Miller, my comic life-mate and editor on the same aforementioned AIN’T IT COOL comics. Our third wheel on this podcast tricycle is Johnny Destructo, he has a life though and decided to live it.

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THE MINUTE BY LOOOONG MINUTE 

4:00 – JUNGLE BOOK HOLIDAY SPECIAL: BAGHEERA’S SECRET #1 (w – M.L. Miller, a – Carlos Granda)
21:00 – GHOST RIDER #1 (w- Felipe Smith, a – Danilo S. Beyruth & Tradd Moore)
34:54 – M.A.S.K. #1 (Mobile Armored Strike Kommand) (w – Brandon Easton, a – Tony Vargas)
49:00 – NO ANGEL #1 (w – Adrianne Palicki & Eric Palicki, a – Ari Syahrazad)
1:00:00 TALES FROM THE CRYPT #1 (w – Stefan Petrucha, David Anthony Kraft & Onrie Kompan, Scott Lobdell, a – Joylon Yates, Miran Kim, John McCrea)
1:13:00 – INHUMANS VS. X-MEN #0 (w –Charles Soule, a – Kenneth Rocafort)
1:27:00 – SAVAGE #1 (w – B. Clay Moore, a – Lewis LaRosa, Clayton Henry)

Spoiler Alert Comic Books Podcast – OLDTRON EDITION CHAPTER 11: Josie and the Pussycats, Blue Beetle, Titans Rebith, Frostbite, Surgeon X, Totally Awesome Hulk

Comic Book Podcast

 

Welcome to the Spoiler Alert Comic Book Podcast. I’m Rob Patey, often known as Optimous Douche from AIN’T IT COOL NEWS. My counterpart is Mark L. Miller, my comic life-mate and editor on the same aforementioned AIN’T IT COOL comics. Our third wheel on this podcast tricycle is Johnny Destructo of CultPopGo Podcast network. His wife actually stayed with him for a year, to celebrate he bribed her with an anniversary.

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THE MINUTE BY LOOOONG MINUTE 

  • 3:05 – Emails & Comments from the Web – How to sell comics? Why does Marvel keep doing events? How would we plot the new Supersons?  Are you there God, it’s me Robert?
  • 34:00 – Josie and the Pussycats 1 – Archie Comics – (W) Marguerite Bennett & Cameron Deordio (A) Audrey Mok
  • 42:00 – Blue Beetle 1 – DC Comics(W) Keith Giffen, (A) Scott Kolins
  • 50:00 – Teen Titans Rebirth 1 – DC Comics – (W) Ben Percy, (A) Jonboy Meyers
  • 1:00:00 – Frostbite 1 – Vertigo Comics – (W) Joshua Williams, (A) Jason Shawn Alexander
  • 1:08:00 – Surgeon X 1 – Image Comics – (W) Sara Kenny, (A) John Watkiss
  • 1:19:00 – Totally Awesome Hulk 10 – Marvel Comics – (W) Greg Pak, (A) Mahmud Asrar

Email us your brain stuff about comics – we’ll read it.

Spoiler Alert Comic Book Podcast: Oldtron Edition -ROM 1, TITANS 1, CAPTAIN KID 1, CIVIL WAR II 4, BATGIRL 1, CAPTAIN AMERICA STEVE ROGERS 3, HAL JORDAN AND THE GREEN LANTERN 1

Comic Book Podcast

Welcome to the Spoiler Alert Comic Book Podcast. We explore comics, life, love and usually end up offending 4 out of 10 groups that feel oppressed. I’m Rob Patey, often known as Optimous Douche from AIN’T IT COOL NEWS. My counterpart is Mark L. Miller, my comic life mate and editor of AIN’T IT COOL comics. Our third wheel on this podcast tricycle is Johnny Destructo of POPTARDSGO, and that wheel fell off this week.

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THE MINUTE BY LOOOONG MINUTE 

Bug goes to San Diego 2016
Bug finally gets to the Marvel panel – 29:00
ROM #1 (w – Chris Ryall & Christos Gage, a – David Messina) – 42:00
TITANS #1 (w – Dan Abnett, a – Brett Booth) – 54:00
CAPTAIN KID #1 (w – Mark Waid & Tom Peter, a – Wilfredo Torres) – 1:00:00
CIVIL WAR II #4 (w – Brian Michael Bendis, a – David Marquez) – 1:12:00
BATGIRL #1 (w – Hope Larson, a – Raphael Albuquerque) – 1:24:00
CAPTAIN AMERICA: STEVE ROGERS #3 (w – Nick Spencer, a – Jesus Saiz) – 1:34:00

Email us your brain stuff about comics – we’ll read it.

 

Spoiler Alert Comic Book Podcast 6/14/16 Oldtron Edition: DC Rebirths, The Fix, Wacky Raceland,Civil War II Spider-Man

Comic Book Podcast

What is Oldtron Podcast? Comic books, comedy…ish…yet another brand for this five year audio adventure across AIN’T IT COOL NEWS, POPTARDSGO.com and…that’s it really. We’re good, but not that good. I’m Rob Patey. I’m hosting Mark Miller. We have been known as Optimous Douche and Ambush Bug, but we’re not proud of it. JD, our third member was drunk. Yes, even too drunk for this. That’s really really drunk.

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  • 4:00 Emails – No Rebirth for our fans. No teeth in the CIVIL WAR
  • 13:30 DC REBIRTH: FLASH #1 (w) Joshua Williamson (a) Carmine Di Giandomenico
  • 19:20 DC REBIRTH: AQUAMAN #1 (w) Dan Abnett (a) Scott Eaton & Oscar Jimenez
  • 27:00 DC REBIRTH:  DETECTIVE #934 (w) James Tynion IV (a) Eddy Barrows
  • 34:14 DC REBIRTH: ACTION #957 (w) Dan Jurgens (a) Patrick Zircher
  • 41:00 DC REBIRTH: WONDER WOMAN #1 (w) Greg Rucka (a) Matthew Clark
  • 45:00 THE FIX #3 (w) Nick Spencer (a) Steve Lieber
  • 54:00 WACKY RACELAND #1 (w) Ken Pontac (a) Leonardo Manco
  • 1:03:00 CIVIL WAR II AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #1 (w) Christos Gage (a) Travel Foreman

Spoiler Alert Comic Book Podcast 5/23/16 Oldtron Edition: CIVIL WAR II #0, SUPERMAN: AMERICAN ALIEN #7, MAE #1, FUTURE QUEST #1


Comic Book Podcast

What is Oldtron Podcast? Comic books, comedy…ish…yet another brand for this five year audio adventure across AIN’T IT COOL NEWS, POPTARDSGO.com and…that’s it really. We’re good, but not that good. I’m Rob Patey. I’m hosting Mark Miller. We have been known as Optimous Douche and Ambush Bug, but we’re not proud of it. JD, our third member hurt himself dancing at improv class. No, you didn’t have a stroke.

STREAM THE PODCAST HERE 

DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST HERE

4:30 – EMAIL FROM THE WEB: Batman V. Superman non-apology. Ronnie Stryke’s figurines.

24:00 – CIVIL WAR II #0 (w – Brian Michael Bendis, a – Olivier Coipel)

37:00 – SUPERMAN: AMERICAN ALIEN #7 (w – Max Landis, a – Jock)

47:00 – MAE #1 (w – Gene Ha, a – Gene Ha)

54:00 – FUTURE QUEST #1 (w – Jeff Parker, a – Evan Shaner & Steve Rude)

 

Spoiler Alert Comicbook Podcast 4/26/16 Oldtron Edition: BMADBALLS #1, 4 KIDS WALK INTO A BANK #1, WONDER WOMAN EARTH ONE #1, JOYRIDE #1, DEPTH #1, DIVINITY II #1, THE WALKING DEAD – THE ALIEN #0

robbughomealone

 

What is Oldtron Podcast? Comic books, comedy…ish…yet another brand for this five year audio adventure across AIN’T IT COOL NEWS, POPTARDSGO.com and…that’s it really. We’re good, not that good. I’m Rob Patey. I’m hosting Mark Miller. We have been known as Optimous Douche and Ambush Bug, but we’re not proud of it. JD, our third member loves his other podcasts more than this one so he abandoned us.

STREAM THE PODCAST HERE 

DOWNLOAD THE PODCAST HERE

THE SHOW THIS WEEK

  • 2:00 – Reader comments from the Web (shooting out Charlotte’s @$$hole): Image shake up in sales & marketing, DC office space shenanigans, New Mark & Rob comic projects, Does all pop media need a comic, getting’ old, cons got away from comics, when are comics not worth the price?
  • 35:00 – MADBALLS #1: Brad McGinty (W) | Brian “Smitty” Smith (A)
  • 43:00 – 4 KIDS WALK INTO A BANK #1: Matthew Rosenberg (W) | Tyler Boss (A)
  • 55:00 – WONDER WOMAN EARTH ONE #1: Grant Morrison (W) | Yanick Maquette (A)
  • 1:11:00 – JOYRIDE #1: Jackson Lanzing & Collin Kelly (W) | Marcus To (A)
  • 1:15:00 – DEPTH #1: Matt Kindt (W&A) | Sharlene Kindt (L)
  • 1:22:00 – DIVINITY II #1: Matt Kindt (W) | Trevor Hairsine (A)
  • 1:28:00 – THE WALKING DEAD – THE ALIEN #0: Brian K. Vaughan (W) | Marcos Martin (A)