GREEN LANTERN NEW GUARDIANS 0 Review – An Eyeful of Rainbow

GREEN LANTERN NEW GUARDIANS 0 COVERGREEN LATERN NEW GUARDIANS 0
Writer: Tony Bedard
Artist: Aaron Kuder
Publisher: DC
Reviewer: Rob Patey (Optimous Douche- Ain’t It Cool News)

This series isn’t the best, but I laugh like the Joker getting his taint tickled when people say they don’t buy this book because, “They don’t know where it’s going.” Come a little closer, I’ll whisper it to you. KYLE RAYNOR IS GOING TO BE A GUARDIAN. DC was about as tricksy with their clue work as a stoned hobbit here.

Now, what this zero entry illuminates is that Kyle, just might be the only Guardian as he has a mano-a-womano with Hal Jordan gal pal, and Star Sapphire, Carol Ferris.

For the past year NEW GUARDIANS has brought together major players from the Skittles brigade of light to thwart an intergalactic ship that was the size of an entire universe. Death Star? Psshhhaww…this is the 21st century and comics should always do better than movies because they can. But what also was happening during this time is Kyle’s ring was picking up all the other rings’ powers through osmosis, making him a little bit blue, yellow, purple, orange, green, country and rock and roll.

The book has been slow till now, but I fault it’s pivotal place in the DC Universe versus placing any blame on Bedard. The slow burn story telling needed to happen because the other GREEN titles needed to set-up the fact the little blue bastards were losing their omnipotent shit. After all, you can’t have new Guardians until the old Guardians are successfully dethroned.

If my in-the-know speak confuses you, you know nothing about the GREEN LANTERN universe and as such should avoid this title. There’s nothing new to see here folks, if you weren’t inclined to follow the doings of GREEN LANTERN before, this book won’t change your mind.

Longtime fans however will learn scads of new information, like a certain faceless overlords of love teaming up with the little blue bastards to destroy anyone who wields a ring and lantern. Also, in a very sincere moment both Carol and Kyle learn of Hal and Sinestro’s recent decent into the black and the rise of new Lantern El Bastardo the evilest Mexican wrestler to ever be named a Lanter…I mean…SImon Baz…a muslim dude from Detroit.

Two points on Kuder’s art, it’s beautiful…except when Carol smiles. In those moments I felt less joy and more fear for my immortal soul being devoured. Seriously, I don’t know what it is, there were just a couple panels where I truly felt Carol was more maniacal than happy.

I think this 13th issue (sorry gotta call a horse a Sarah Jessica Parker here) didn’t do a lot to illuminate the past, but like GREEN LANTERN’S 13th foray in zero land, it put the book on a new and I think better direction for it’s second year.

Less team work – more Kyle please.

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