Marc Berman of Facebook writes #askrob these tales of fourth grade nothingness:
Why is the sky blue?
Fake news, and faker “scientists” will try to tell you some shit about light particle dispersion across the atmosphere. DON’T BELIEVE THEM.
The sky is blue because blue is the color of depression. God is depressed. We really failed him as creations, and we always forget to call on Holidays.
When a tree falls in a forest and on one is around, does it really make a sound?
Yes it makes a sound, of course it makes a sound. It didn’t fall up into the vacuum of space. That’s because of gravity and shit.
A better question is what does a tree falling sound like? The answer is it sounds Gilbert Godfried getting a prostate exam without anesthesia.
Will there be a Galaxy Quest 2?
No. Alan Rickman’s corpse is being a real dick about back-end points on merch. Also the corpse refuses to work with Tim Allen again because of the smell.