I, VAMPIRE 0 Review – Predictable, But Doesn’t Suck

I, VAMPIRE 0 REVIEWI, VAMPIRE 0
Writer: Joshua Fialkov
Artist: Andrea Sorrentino
Publisher: DC
Reviewer: Rob Patey (aka Optimous Douche – Ain’t It Cool News)
As we reach the end of zero month, or as some have dubbed it “New 52 Course Correction,” two clear categories of books have arisen: there’s definitive prequels and what I have cynically dubbed issues 13.

My mortal perception of linear time made it hard to grapple with the fact not all zeroes must precede the events of issue one. I hit some books with reviewer abuse because of this prejudice. But as we now reach the end of this event, I had an epiphany or moment of forgiveness to see the merits in both approaches in moving the New DCU into Year 2. Which is honestly all DC ever promised, prequel was a badge stitched on by fans.

Or at least I did before reading I, VAMPIRE…

I, VAMPIRE is a case where I really wanted to see an issue 13, but instead clearly fits into the prequel category of my zero month taxonomy. Make no mistake, Fialkov and Sorrentino deliver the goods in this story of Andrew Bennett before he became the world’s nicest vampire, but I don’t know if I discovered enough surprises to say I absolutely needed this story.

In a time when manly men could wear lace and women were still wenches, Lord Bennett lives in the shadows of a love that must not be named. No, not bestiality. Well…maybe bestiality if you consider banging the help the same as schtooping a Golden retriever. I know some blue bloods do, so I won’t judge.

That’s right folks, the blood lust Mary, who is soooo superior with her belief that vampires are a leg up on humanity was once a common little cinder girl and Andrew her Lord in waiting. Mary and Andrew’s love has been forever doomed, which has been one of the most compelling elements of this series to date. In modern times it is ideology that separates them, while in this time of yore it was class.

I guess my beef with this zero offering (if you can call it that), is that I kind of guessed what was going to happen. Once I realized we were in elder days, when Bennett rode into the night to get some Mary play in a stable or broom closet (wherever you go to bang the help), I wasn’t exactly shocked to see his run-in with Cain, his maker and the original vampire.

Mary is basically a non-entity in this issue, which is a shame. I have found her to be a compelling antagonist and would have liked some of her life thoughts before she entered the unlife.

Again, Fialkov made the verbal parle engaging. Bennett never cowers, and Cain shows admiration for Bennett’s courage, much the same way I find it cute when our live lobsters try to escape the sink. And Sorrentino, good-God can Sorrentino draw. His talent has been one of the biggest surprises of the New 52, and I can’t wait to see more work thrown his way.

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