Ask Dear Rob Here are just some of the people I’ve helped already! Submit your questions in the comments or email – because this is the face of caring after all!

 

 

Dear Rob,
Hodor?

Great question Leo,
But I don’t speak jive.

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Dear Rob,

How do you get rid of those tiny pieces of bone stuck in your drain the acid just won’t dissolve?

hookersGreat question Kevin,
Another old college friend who is showing his maturity in years by finally cleaning up his problems. Kevin would leave dead hookers everywhere back in college. Wherever Kevin went you could be sure that seven or twelve dead hookers would be in his wake. I remember the day when he got the last one in town and they called in the national guard to protect the sororities.

Kevin I go back to a saying my Grandmother once taught me, “When life gives you undissolved hooker bones, you make a big batch of of hooker soup.”

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Dear Rob,

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

henryviii_eatingGreat question Jan,
The council of “Pencil Enumerating Needs In Service” founded by King Henry the Eighth when he was at the height of his syphilis explains it thuslly….

“Be it that the price of lead hath become so great that not even the whore Anne Boleyn can swallow it, all pencil crafters shall here forth only make leaden pencils for those anointed worthy by God and King. Who we must believith are the same person until Henry’s crotch rotteth away his madman decrees on who really runneth the show.

Thusly all pencils used by those of lesser birth shall be made from the excrement of the husky aristocratic children, because we all know pencils and horse poxy are not safe around a husky child.

These types of pencils shall be designated #2 for purposes of taxation and because Henry hath grown so obese from turkey and the travelling syphilis his throat can only now say numbers.”

So there you have it Jan, the #2 pencil has its name thanks to peasant shit and syphilis