Ask Dear Rob Here are just some of the people I’ve helped already! Submit your questions in the comments or via email – because this is the face of caring!

Roland Deschain writes
Dear Rob,

How does a man balance between being so damn charming and at the same time optimizing his douchyness on a daily basis? Also why do women hate the word Cunt or my favorite Cunty so much?

Good questions Roland,

Douchey CharmMy charm stems directly from my douchyness. Some guys have looks or intelligence, I have an attitude that can only come from being born and bred in New Jersey. That attitude has made me a nominal to minimal success in the areas of B2B marketing/communications, comic reviews (most still shake their in head disbelief that that’s an actual thing) and of course with the ladies….before I was gelded 15 years ago.

The lesson here, is be a douche that smiles a lot – get stuff!

As for the C-word, I think it stems from the fact you are referring to their most sacred of places as something akin to the Sarlacc Pit that swallowed Boba Fett.

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Jim Nash Writes

Dear Rob,
Why are people STILL pushing zombies on us? Aren’t zombies kind of over? I mean, I like them as much as anybody, but I think we’ve had our fill. Thoughts?

Superb question Jim,

Funny-Zombie-Run-For-Your-Life-7Zombies are the zeitgeist physical embodiment the human spirits ultimate death. As we drudge through this modern day world salivating at the scenes outside our office windows of confinement, a bit of us…as a species…dies each passing year.

Zombies quite simply are us, they are a cathartic release of what we fear most in becoming but make no mistake what we are becoming. If we’re not shuffling along through an existence of daily drudgery we are feasting on ourselves…our neighbors…merely to stay alive. Not physical sustenance, but certainly spiritually and economically. And I’m not some hippie liberal saying that’s saying just the rich are feasting on the poor poor. The people feeding off welfare when they could work are zombies in their own right festering in a catatonic state on their stoops as they feast on the sweat of others.

Plus, people are just sick fucks that get off on voyeuristic rush of cannibalism.